The cowardly lion.

There are so many things I would love to do in life- would love to be.

Dancer. Producer. Model. Midwife. Singer. Photographer.. just to name a few.

I feel like I have all this potentional built up inside of me but just don't

know what to do, or have the courage to do it. It's super frustrating.

I am on my way to becoming a certified doula and who knows

where that will take me in life. Midwifery school would pretty much

be the perfect job for me but as pathetic as it may sound I don't

think I can handle the responsibility that comes along with it. Even just the

thought of becoming a nurse scares the jeepers out of me. I feel like that

should not stop me from pursueing something I am so passionate about

but it totally does. We're supposed to take risks in life and yet I don't think

I ever will. I never really have.

I'm thinking about purchasing an Apple computer so that I can make videos

using iMovie and burn them onto DVDs. Kyle is more than convinced that

I could easily bring in some dough doing it but I'm not too sure.

We're also thinking about purchasing a professional camera. I'm thinking Nikon.

However living in Deutschland doesn't exactly have great access to photography

classes so I would pretty much have to learn as I go. Or spend a great deal of time

on YouTube. I guess the first step to those is to buy them and get started.

March marks two years that we've lived over here which means only twelve

months until we move back to the States! I am excited mainly because

that means I will start school. What I will go for (since it won't be anything

I really want to do) is up in the air. Ultrasound tech? X-ray tech? OTA?

Whatever I do I am sure I will shine in. Once I actually get a career

then I would still love to do something on the side like my videos

or photography.

I hope I can teach my children that whatever they want to do in life they

are capable of doing and should pursue it no matter what. My parents

did a marvelous job at raising me but for some reason I definitely lack in

the confidence area and will go through the rest of life knowing

that I am settling for less...