Half-time is over.

So after seven long weeks of a yeast diaper rash Dylan is finally yeastless! I washed all 27 of his diapers last night and now it's game on!

I spy with my little eye..

..a Tyler and a Dylan.

(By the way- Dylan is in mid puke in the above picture ::chuckle::)

So in effort to improving our quality of life I've been putting more effort into surrounding my family and I with more giggles, laughs, smiles and hugs. We've been staying plenty busy with the many playdates and BBQs we engage in throughout the week and with the effort of spending less time on the web combined with some schedule changes at home, I am begining to see a happier, less stressful future. I just needed some time to sit down and think clearly about everything. If I had to describe the world today in one word it would be this; busy. Maybe it's because that's how I feel but then again I bet if I took a seat in Grand Central Station my opinion wouldn't change one bit- I would see person after person rushing to get from point A to point B, just as I feel sitting at home sometimes with two children. ::sigh:: Busy busy world..

Hair to match the personality.

I'm Switzerland.

To work or not to work, that is the question.

I have submitted six resumes over the course of the past four weeks and even though I have yet to receive any feedback, I'm debating my course of action if I do. I constantly go back and forth in my head on this issue and I feel like they have equal pros and cons. Although I am super stressed out more than I probably should be, I do love spending my days with my boys and watching them grow up. The days when they are well behaved I feel so blessed to be able to spend every minute with them but the days they are out of control I instantly go into "my dark hole", as I like to call it. But I suppose life as a whole has ups and downs and you just have to learn how to handle each of them. I've convinced myself that I was just simply not put on this planet to be a SAHM but some of my friends often kind comments make me think otherwise. I've been referred to as "mom of the year" and often called an 'inspiration' because of my creativity with my children. I guess if I were offered a job I could try it out and see if I'm happier or more stressed and worst case scenario just quit and be back at square one, but the effort it would take to find reliable and trusting childcare for both of the boys seems overwhelming and there is no garantees it will be worth it.

::sigh:: I just don't know..

*SAHM = Stay at home mom.

My whole world.

"My fantasy is a quiet room, where I can eat my lunch with no one touching me. And drink a Diet Sprite.”

Tina Fey couldn't have said it any better in her line from Date Night. Kyle often offers to watch the kids for a while (I know, I truly am a lucky woman) while I have "me time" and the first thing that comes to mind is walking four flights down to our basement, where I will be completely alone, and without noise. Some of you might have noticed I deactivated my Facebook. I need to figure out a better schedule with the boys, my husband, and my life, before I reactivate it. Like I posted in my previous blog, life is nothing short of chaotic lately and it's really starting to take a toll on me. It's a vicious circle, really. I hop on the computer frequently throughout the day to remind myself that I am surrounded by people who love and care for me, and that I'm not just a robot who picks up after everyone but then in return I always feel guilty for even the five minutes I may be ignoring the kids. And then there's all the repsonsibility that comes with the internet. If it weren't for me noone would even know what Dylan looks like, at almost a year old. Don't get me wrong, I love taking the pictures and uploading them but when I think of the effort I go through to keep friends and family imformed, and the lack of effort on the other end, I find myself flustered. We have lived here a year in a half (in September) and only a handfull of people know how to call us. On both of the boy's birthdays, and many other holidays we had to call most of out family and friends, so they could talk to them/us. ::sigh:: It's really easy...and it would take a LOT of the strss off of us..

A little break, please.

I don't know exactly when it happened but for months now my life is so completely chaotic. I feel like... like time is just pushing forward and forward and I can't make it stop or at least slow down so I can catch up.. to catch my breath, my sanity.. the dishes, laundry..and everything in between. Being a mother of two young kids is a completely different game than being a mother of one. And you can't believe it until you're actually living it (and no, being a daycare provide doesn't even come close either). If one child is content, the other is fussing for my attention in some way. It is a very rare occurrence that they are both happy and content for more than oh, fifteen minutes. Tyler has practically been an angel lately but Dylan is just not a happy boy lately :[ He has his second ear infection and I believe is working on his 6th and 7th tooth. He won't eat solids (again) due to this which is really driving me insane but I'm trying really hard to not let it.. All of that with a touch of separation anxiety is not a fun time. He practically stops breathing when I leave the room (even though he can almost run now), lay him down to change his diaper (which, oh yeah, he has a yeast diaper infection. Awesome.) or put him in his high chair. And when he cries he breaks out with hives all over his forehead. Look, I'm not here to complain or look for sympathy because after all, I did know how close in age they were going to be when we were trying to conceive Dylan, I'm just putting my thoughts on the screen or they don't stay locked up in this head of mine. Being a mother of two is hard. I look forward to the day when I can sleep past 6:30, eat an entire meal from start to finish or use the restroom uninterrupted. Until then.. I'll be here.